I remember the last conversation I had with my friend, we discussed her work trip the previous weekend, the fact that we were getting"old" because my husband and I were ready to try to have a baby, and when we were going to get together the coming weekend so she could get her birthday gifts.
I remember driving to work that morning thinking it was just like any other day.
I remember my husband calling me to say that planes had crashed into buildings. Since I didn't realize the magnitude, my response, a casual "do they think its terrorism?" His response, "Stacey, what about Angie?"
I remember driving home on what was the most beautiful day I had ever seen,
I remember the initial hope when we told her office was on the other side of the Pentagon and then the hope dashed when we realized they had moved offices the week before.
I remember the phone call from her mom the next morning confirming our worst fears.
After that, all I remember is crushing pain and anger.
How could she be gone? This ray of light for so many people, this wonderful person who put others before herself. What kind of world took that person away?
I was stuck there for so long, angry every day!!! Two things helped me pull through: (1) I got pregnant with my daughter & (2) we set up a scholarship fund in her honor that gave me a purpose, a way to make her loss seem less meaningless.
Fast forward, 7 years. Am I still angry? Absolutely!!!! Am I still sad? Absolutely!!!! Do I still miss her? Everyday!!!! I still think: Angie would have loved this, she would have thought this was funny, I wonder what she would have thought about this, etc. The worst part is that I think everyday how much my children would have loved her and what a wonderful influence she would have been for them.
September 11 has been a defining moment in my life. It taught me what real pain was like. It also taught me that I was stronger than I thought, and that I could withstand more than I realized. The most important thing it taught me was that it was better to love and lose than to never allow yourself to love at all. Despite all the pain I felt once she was gone, I would not have traded the chance to get to know and love her. I would not have traded those 9 years as best friends and all the memories we shared for anything!
I am a better person because she was a part of my life.
Use this 9/11 anniversary as a chance to make sure everyone you love knows how much you value them.
If you want to read more about Angie visit: www.angiemhoutzmemorialfund.com
Dr. Stacey-Ann Baugh
Long & Foster Real Estate
www.staceybaugh.com
staceyannbaugh@gmail.com
240-481-3565 (C)
301-924-1100 (O)
FINALLY! A DOCTOR WHO MAKES HOUSE-CALLS!
Stacey-Ann,
Thanks for sharing with us your feelings and your touching tribute to your friend. You had a personal connection with this tragedy.
Steve
We all lost a lot and should never forget. But while I remember 7 years ago, I'm looking forward to who can protect us best from this happening again and how much freedom I'll need to give up for enough security. Hmmmm . . .
I am so sorry you lost your friend Stacey-Ann. We all lost so much that day. Up here there were so many funerals and still today we hear news of one or another of the first responders here in NY getting sick or dying from the after effects. We must never forget. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.
Thank you for this post. Wisdom!
Stacey-Ann - Thanks for sharing that fine tribute to your friend. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Stacey-Ann ~ I did not lose anyone I know on 9/11, but I get emotional and teary over it all just the same. Just the fact of loss of life is enough to bring that on. I have to stay away from the television, too, because they are playing so many shows about it this week. I let my family know every day that I love them.
Thanks so much for sharing your heartfelt testimony to your friend. It brought me to tears, as most things about 9/11 typically do. No matter how you spin it, the fact remains that this was the single most awful thing to happen in recent U.S. history. It is just so sad, even 7 years later. I don't think we'll ever truly recover from it. Do you?
~Renae
HI STACEY!
Oh my how the last line in your post is so true. We can get so caught in the day to day stuff and so easily forget to express ourselves to those who mean the most. A prime example of not saving the kudos...give them daily.
Peace & much love,
Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support. It was a tough day but at least its a great chance for everyone to stop and honor those many lives lost.